What Jesus Really Said About Divorce & Remarriage

Marriage was God's idea, and His design has always been clear: one man and one woman joined together for a lifetime. Jesus affirmed that design in Matthew 19 when He said that what God has joined together, man should not separate.

Yet Jesus also acknowledged the reality of human sin. When the Pharisees asked why Moses permitted divorce, Jesus answered that it was because of the hardness of their hearts. Divorce was not God's original intention, but Scripture does address it because Scripture speaks to real people living in a world damaged by sin.

In his fourth sermon on marriage on divorce, Dr. Rocky Ramsey brings together what the Old Testament, Jesus, and Paul say about divorce, adultery, and remarriage.

The Old Testament Matters

Every part of Scripture is inspired by God. 2 Timothy 3:16 gives Christians no permission to dismiss the Old Testament when trying to understand a New Testament issue. Deuteronomy warns God's people neither to add to His commands nor take away from them. That principle matters enormously when studying divorce. Christians should not loosen God's standard, nor should we create restrictions that God's Word does not create.

Moses addressed legal divorce in Deuteronomy 24, something Jesus Himself acknowledged in Matthew 19.

Malachi 2 is also important. Rather than reading the passage as a simplistic slogan about divorce, its context reveals men dealing treacherously with their wives. God's anger is directed toward covenant betrayal and the mistreatment of women.

Jeremiah 3:8 adds another striking passage: God Himself uses the language of divorce in describing His judgment upon unfaithful Israel.

The Old Testament does not diminish the seriousness of marriage. It gives us part of the Biblical framework necessary for understanding everything Jesus and Paul later teach.

What Did Jesus Say?

Jesus took His listeners back to God's original design. Marriage was intended to be lifelong. Divorce entered the human experience because of sin and hardness of heart. Jesus also spoke strongly about adultery. In Matthew 5 and Mark 10, He connected divorce followed by remarriage with adultery. He also expanded the issue far beyond physical intercourse by teaching that lust itself constitutes adultery in the heart. That should keep any of us from treating adultery as merely somebody else's sin.

At the same time, Matthew 19:9 identifies sexual unfaithfulness as a circumstance affecting the question of remarriage. The standard remains lifelong marital faithfulness. Scripture also speaks directly to circumstances in which that standard has been violated.

What Did Paul Say?

1 Corinthians 7 provides some of the Bible's most extensive teaching about singleness, marriage, divorce, and remarriage.

Paul speaks highly of singleness and acknowledges that married people will experience additional concerns in this life. He also addresses a believer whose spouse abandons the marriage, saying that the believer is "not under bondage" in such circumstances.

Paul simultaneously recognizes the power of sexual temptation. Marriage is preferable to continuing in sexual immorality, and a person who cannot exercise self-control is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Scripture also clearly permits remarriage following the death of a spouse. Paul encourages younger widows to marry in 1 Timothy 5.

Taken together, the passages addressed in this study identify three circumstances in which remarriage is not treated as adultery: unfaithfulness, abandonment, and widowhood.

Adultery Is Serious. It Is Not Unpardonable.

Perhaps the most important word for someone carrying shame from their past appears in 1 Corinthians 6. Paul lists serious sins, including sexual immorality and adultery, and warns about the consequences of lives characterized by rebellion against God. Then comes hope:

"Such were some of you."

Their sin was real. Their past was real. Their forgiveness was real too. They had been washed. They had been sanctified. They had been justified in the name of Jesus Christ.

The Gospel never requires us to pretend sin doesn't matter. The cross proves exactly how seriously God takes sin. The Gospel also means our worst sin does not have to become our permanent identity.

God's design for marriage remains one man and one woman for a lifetime. Divorce reflects the tragic consequences of sin in our world. Scripture nevertheless gives instruction for people living through broken circumstances, and Jesus Christ gives grace to people whose lives have fallen short of God's best.